So often, I find myself longing to hear God speak to me; to hear His guidance of where I should go, how I can better serve Him, or areas in my life I need to work on. I want to grow closer to Him, but often during these times of longing, I tend to expect my own answers rather than what He is truly saying. I come into prayer with preconceived ideas and expectations of what I need to be doing, almost seeking His approval or conformation that I am on the right track. So when we feel like we aren’t hearing God, like He is remaining silent, I think a lot of it is that while He is indeed speaking, we are refusing to listen because it isn’t what we were wanting or expecting to hear.
We think we
understand God and how He works and moves, but He is infinite and beyond all
understanding. We want to hear Him speak to us how we think He should, rather
than be still and listen for His voice. In 1 Kings 19:11-12, Elijah goes out to
seek God’s presence. While he stood on the mountain, “a great and powerful wind
tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord
was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was
not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not
in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” God was not in either
the wind, the earthquake, or the fire, but He was in the gentle whisper that
spoke to Elijah. I think most people would have been so overwhelmed by the
first three events, thinking God must be in one of them due to their majesty
and power, and therefore wouldn’t have even heard the quiet whisper.
About a week ago,
God put on my heart the word pride followed by a parable in Luke 18 of the rich
ruler. In this passage, a young ruler came up to Jesus asking him what he
needed to do to inherit eternal life. He goes to tell Jesus that he has kept
the commandments and basically lived a good and respectable life up to this
point. Jesus’ reply came as a shock to the man as he told him, “You still lack
one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have
treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” The man was saddened by this because
it was not the answer he had been looking for, and he was not willing to follow
Jesus’ instructions.
The disciples
overheard the conversation and were shocked, asking Jesus who possibly could be
saved then? Here, this man had power, and wealth, and had lived a life in
accordance with the commandments, yet he was still not worthy.
I was reading this
and asking how it could apply to my life, why God was speaking to me in this
way. While I don’t have great wealth or power, the issue with the young ruler
is that he suffered from pride, pride in his possessions and accomplishments so
much so that he was not willing to sacrifice them in order to follow Jesus.
When I think of
pride, I usually think of arrogance or an amplified opinion of one’s self and
accomplishments. But really, it is more due to our own failure to realize our need
for complete dependence on God.
With this, I find
that I am consumed within my own pride, that, like the young ruler, I too have
been refusing to submit myself wholeheartedly
to God. This does not have to be specifically wealth or power, but worry,
anxiety, and control are all things that we often hold onto with pride as well.
Basically, anything that is separating you from God, from submitting
wholeheartedly to His will, is rooted in our pride.
Pride blocks our
hearts from fully embracing God’s love because it is a consuming thought; “In
his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room
for God.” Psalm 10:4. Through our own power, we are nothing and can do nothing,
but Jesus promises that “What is impossible with men is possible with God.”
Luke 18:27. Unlike the young ruler, we need to set down our pride and pick up
our crosses to follow Jesus.
This enters into our
prayer as well. Our pride deafens us; in order to clearly hear His voice, we
first need to lay everything down at the feet of Jesus. We must surrender our pride and “present
your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God.” Romans 12:1.
This does not mean to present only a part of ourselves, or that which we find
acceptable; God is calling us to sacrifice our entire being in order to
experience His true presence.
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